


The (Not So) Golden Years

by Chonisexual



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Cheryl Blossom Needs a Hug, Cheryl is a bitch, Eating Disorders, Emotional Abuse, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Moments too, Homophobia, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Longing, Memories, Past Abuse, Physical Abuse, Sadness, The Blossom Parents Are The Worst, Unrequited Love, implied eating disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-05 20:23:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13395564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chonisexual/pseuds/Chonisexual





	The (Not So) Golden Years

_Age 7_

It's late at night and Cheryl shouldn't be out here. Shouldn't be here staring at the graves of her dead relatives, imagining who they were. She should be inside, in bed. A shiver runs down her spine, partly from the cold but more from how Thornhill looks from here.

The place Cheryl calls home, looms over her. Terrifying and dark, like from a horror movie.

"What are you doing out here, Cher? It's late." Jason frowns. He doesn't seem angry or upset. Even though Jason's out here in his short-sleeved Batman pyjama top and sleep shorts. In fact, he just looks vaguely confused and concerned. "I wasn't tired." Cheryl replies with a small shrug. Shaking his head and smiling boyishly, Jason walks over. "You're going to freeze out here." He reasons.

Jason always had be the responsible, logical twin. Cheryl always reacted first and thought later. Not Jason though, Jason was the apple of their parent's eye. Meanwhile, Cheryl was just a nuisance, a complication.

"What are you doing out here?" Clifford Blossom asks half an hour later. His booming voice makes Cheryl jump, and his face is red with anger.

Jason wraps an arm around Cheryl's shoulders. Together, united against their father. "Nothing. Just thought I'd take Cher for a walk. We were just about to go back inside." Lies Jason easily. His smile so sweet and boyish, that Clifford Blossom calms down almost immediately. "Well, hurry up. Wouldn't want something to happen." He huffs sounding vaguely threatening.

They walk in side by side. That night, Cheryl sleeps in Jason's bed with his arms securing her in a tight hug as they drifted off to sleep.

_Age 8_

"What the hell was that?" Penelope Blossom yells throwing her gloves down angrily. "Betty's nice." Cheryl defends in a small voice. Her daddy and Jason are at the races, her parents didn't even bother to ask if Cheryl wanted to go. Instead, they left her at Josie McCoy's who was having friends over. "Nice? She's a _Cooper_. I told you, you're not to associate with them." Snaps Penelope turning to face her shaking daughter.

Fidgeting with the hem of her dress, Cheryl shrugs. "It's not like this Blossom/Cooper thing is Betty's fault." She points out, voice quivering. Usually Jason's here to make sure nothing happens but Cheryl terrified that something might happen now that he isn't.

But... Her Mommy would do that, right? Not to Cheryl.

Her comment seems to only infuriate Penelope Blossom more. Before Cheryl can even process it, she feels a sharp sting on her cheek. Mouth wide open in surprise, it takes Cheryl a second to realise her Mommy hit her. She'd never have done the same to Jason, Cheryl knows that much.

"Betty Cooper is a selfish, horrid little girl. Is that clear?" The words are icy and Cheryl feels a tear trailing down her cheek. "So weak." Her mother sneers before brushing past her. Cheryl, still holding her cheek watches her mother leave. Waits for the apology to come, waits for her mother to realise she was wrong. Penelope Blossom just walks away smiling at Jason's tidy room as she walks past.

That next morning, when Betty waves to her cheerfully, Cheryl asks if she has to go to a special store for whale sized clothes. Betty says nothing looking down at the ground, before running away.

Cheryl pushes down her guilt and avoids Jason's questioning looks.

_Age 9_

There's something so tempting, so intriguing about Archie Andrews. He laughs loudly, throwing his head back not caring who's watching. Smile so wide, genuine the definition of carefree. Archie plays with Jughead even though he's a freak with no money. He plays with Betty even though she's chubby and awkward-looking.

"We're going to be late to ballet." Penelope Blossom hisses.

Cheryl feels like yelling in her face, running over to Archie. In that moment, she doesn't care about _the rules_ or how Jughead is probably going to grow up to be a serial killer. She simply lets her mother drag her away staring at Archie Andrews, Jughead Jones and Betty Cooper longingly. They're only three musketeers, they need a fourth one. Maybe another ginger, another girl, another freak.

Maybe Cheryl Blossom?

Cheryl shoved in the back with Jason. His smile is genuine carefree like Archie's. She wants it, she wants it so badly. Would gladly claw it off Archie's (not Jason's, never Jason's) face and take it for herself.

_Age 10_

Lately Daddy has been taking Jason to work. To hang out with work buddies, play golf with investors, take him on play dates with cute little girls from rich families. And it's not fair, not fair at all because Cheryl can do all that too.

Her Mommy spends the day showing Cheryl how to: wear make-up, put make-up on, wear dresses, flirt with boys. Cheryl would prefer to kick Polly Cooper's butt at golf.

Penelope Blossom grabs Cheryl's face roughly and applies foundation, blush, mascara all with harsh strokes. "I'm hungry." Whines Cheryl, still too young to understand _the rules_ completely. Too young to understand that pain is beauty and that beauty is bottled for those rich enough to afford it. "I'm not getting you a dress bigger than a size 4. We can't have you turning out like that Cooper girl." Her Mommy snaps.

Painted red lips pout and Cheryl's stomach rumbles. She hasn't eaten since breakfast and it's 7PM now.

When Jason comes back, he talks excitedly about the burger he ate with Daddy. ( _"It was the size of my head, Cher. I could hardly eat it all!"_ ) Cheryl's stomach rumbles and Jason asks if she wants something to eat.

"No, I've already eaten. Must still be digesting." Lies Cheryl. She goes to bed hungry.

_Age 11_

Josie McCoy invites Cheryl for a sleepover. Just the two of them. The Mayor's daughter and the Blossom's unwanted daughter. Jason's at Reggie's house so it works out well.

Her room is messy, with song lyrics scattered all over the place and the walls are a faded pink. But Cheryl still finds it oddly charming. It's more personal than Cheryl's room which looks almost like a Guest Room if not for the lone picture of Jason and Cheryl smiling on her dresser. Not Josie's though. As soon as you walk in, you can just tell whose room it is. No one but Josie McCoy's.

"Sorry about the mess." Josie said slightly nervous. Her fingers play with the hem of her Walmart pyjamas. Cheryl guesses they were $10 at the most.

She shrugs, sitting down on the bed. Josie's sheets are cheap, slightly rough against Cheryl's legs. It doesn't stop Cheryl from wanting to stay here forever instead of Thornhill. (Cheryl stopped calling Thornhill 'home' a long time ago.) Josie looks anxious, waiting for Cheryl's bitchy remark.

But bitches have to stay together.

"Who's this one about?" Cheryl teased picking up a page full of lyrics. Maybe Cheryl can't bring herself to insult Josie, but she doesn't have to know that. Josie leans over, breath soft and warm against Cheryl's neck.

They spend the night singing songs, making them up as they go along. Cheryl almost feels guilty that she's so happy without Jason by her side.

_Age 12_

Kevin Keller comes out to Sheriff Keller at Pop's. Between all the yelling and pleading and sobbing, it doesn't take long for the news to make the rounds. Suddenly, everyone in Riverdale knows about the gay kid. His dorky face is pale, knees shaking and quivering as he walks down the halls with Betty Cooper by his side. Kevin fidgets with his bag strap, nervous and scared.

"You'll be okay." Betty whispers in a reassuring voice. He smiles, naïve and innocent believing her words.

But this is Riverdale. Most kids share Sheriff Keller's opinion that being gay was wrong, that marriage was between a man and a woman. The Blossom's funded an organisation, 'Nay to Gays'.  In Cheryl's opinion, it was stupid and had a terrible name, at best.

( _"It's business, Cheryl."_ )

"Hey fag! Off to kiss your boyfriend?!" One of the guys yell as another pushes Kevin into a locker. They're from the Football Team. From the Football Team her brother is the Captain of, her loving, sweet, charming twin.

For a second, Cheryl's eyes harden and Kevin's eyes light up hopefully.

Then, she looks at Jason. He's laughing, holding his ribcage like he'd just heard the funniest joke ever. Jason would never be wrong, never do the wrong thing ever. The Perfect Twin. Cheryl just causes unnecessary trouble, says the wrong thing, does the wrong thing. So, she joins in the laughter.

Pushes away thoughts of her fingers brushing Josie's, of watching Josie dance erotically in stage, of Josie's breath on her neck.

Kevin's face drops, looks at her offended, betrayed, hurt. As he runs off, Cheryl kind of wants to take back the laughter. To stand up to the jerk. Betty runs after him, glaring at Cheryl like it's _her_ fault. Never once even glances at Jason and Polly who were laughing along too.

"He seemed like such a nice kid." Jason says sounding vaguely disappointed. "Yeah." Mutters Cheryl.

_Age 13_

Polly Cooper is a menace. How dare that Cooper bitch steal _her_ Jay-Jay? How she steal Cheryl's time with _her_ twin? Because Jason is _Cheryl's_ and certainly not Polly's. But that doesn't stop Polly from acting like Jason's hers.

Like Jason is Polly's boyfriend instead of Cheryl's twin.

"Is 5 seconds of his time too much to ask for? Like, we've literally known each other our whole lives." Rants Cheryl as she drives to Sweetwater Lake. Cheryl still can't believes that Jason's making her spend time with Betty Cooper.

At least she has someone new to bitch to, right?

"Have you thought about talking to Jason about it?" Betty asks in her sweet, Good Girl voice. It seemed like she's either forgotten or chose to ignore the way Cheryl's usually a Class-A bitch. "Please, I'll sound even more desperate and self-absorbed than Kim Kardashian. And I'm _so_ not a Kardashian kind of girl." Snorted Cheryl. "Debatable." Comments Betty cheekily.

It's the most shocking thing that Cheryl's ever heard. Even more shocking than Brad Pitt dumping Jennifer Aniston for Angelina Jolie.

(Cheryl still firmly disagrees with the choice. It would be like dumping David Beckham for David Letterman. Because Jennifer Aniston is hot, like the hottest ever and Cheryl will fight anyone on that. And of course, when she says 'the hottest ever' Cheryl means like objectively speaking. She isn't into girls _obviously_ , not even a little. Cheryl just means that Jennifer Aniston would be fun to kiss, buy lingerie with, probably smell really nice...)

"I'm way more responsible with my sex tapes." Smirks Cheryl. Betty chokes on her own spit, blushing bright red. "Cheryl!" She yells, slapping Cheryl's shoulder lightly. Throwing her head back, Cheryl laughs. Maybe there's some good stuff about this Jason/Polly thing.

Jason beams happily when he seems them laughing and having fun. "And here I thought Betty was your biggest nemesis." He jokes.

_Age 14_

"You should be lucky I haven't disowned you, yet." Hisses Penelope Blossom. As her Mommy steps closer, Cheryl steps back. Her back is pressed up against her dresser and Penelope Blossom's hand is raised, ready to slap her. Cheryl closes her eyes, tears rolling down her face waiting for the impact. She's shaking, lips quivering and whimpering nervously. It feels like Cheryl is scared animal waiting for the slaughter.

Suddenly, the door opens and Penelope Blossom steps away, glaring at the figure.

"Me and Cheryl have a History Project to work on." Polly lies, shielding Cheryl from her mother protectively. The older woman rolls her eyes but walks out, despite the fact Cheryl isn't in the same year as Polly.

Polly Cooper turns to Cheryl. Her eyes are sea blue, calm and kind. Gently, Polly grips Cheryl's shoulder and leads her to the bed.

Cheryl sits down while Polly smiles at her sadly. Wordlessly, Polly grabs a makeup wipe from Cheryl's dresser and wipes away the bile dripping down her chin. Wipes away the blood, the tears, the tragedy as best as she can.

"You're going to be okay." Whispers Polly choking up slightly.

Cheryl doesn't quite believe Polly but smiles up at her anyway. Her throat feels like it's filled with glass, heart slamming against her ribcage, chest weighed down by her parent's many insults. Polly sees right through the fake smile, the bearing of teeth, a lone tear running down her face too.

She lets Polly cradle her. Lets Polly run a shaky hand through long, fiery hair. Cheryl focuses on the sound of Polly's heart like a lullaby so safe and warm.

Polly pulls away slightly making Cheryl's heart sink. Brown eyes harden already preparing an insult to fight against Polly's harsh words. "You'll be okay, Cheryl. As long as me and Jason are here, you'll be okay. You'll be safe." Promises Polly looking into Cheryl's eyes.

(Jason dies. Polly is sent away. Cheryl isn't okay, Cheryl isn't safe.)

_Age 15_

The white dress feels like a straight jacket. Beside Cheryl, Veronica takes her hand. She can hardly feel it, can hardly hear the pastor's words laying her other half to rest. Can only see, hear, think, feel Jason's body being lowered into the ground. It's not just a body in that coffin, it's half of Cheryl's soul.

He was supposed to come back. Jason was supposed to be happy and safe and warm and free and _alive_. This was never the plan. The plan was boats and secret messages and Polly and Europe and getaway cars. No part of that included Jason actually dying. Never included Cheryl standing at his funeral with the daughter of a New York socialite and a criminal.

For a second, there's a red-headed boy. Smiling, free, safe, _alive._ Cheryl's other half. Her heart leaps in her chest.

Archie looks over at the commotion. Cheryl's left kneeling in the mud ruining her dress, yelling Jason's name and sobbing. Without hesitation or a second thought, Veronica pulls Cheryl up and into her arms.

"You're going to be okay." Whispers Veronica. Cheryl sobs harder.

_Age 16_

Cheryl sits by Sweetwater River, staring out at the waves of blue. It's calming, beautiful. But Cheryl remembers ice and bloody fists and Jason dragging her under. Archie Andrews her hero and Veronica Lodge her saviour. It feels like there's a metaphor in there somewhere, something poetic. Something about death and pain and misery and love and joy and laughter.

About how Jason had tried to pull her down when he was always her anchor, her hero, her saviour, her knight, her soul, her light.

"Cheryl?" Archie asks concerned. His red eyebrows frown at her concerned. "Go away, Andrews." She says cold and distant.

Archie sits down beside her. "I never thanked you for the guitar." He mutters staring out at the water too. "You never had to." Retorts Cheryl. She thinks of ice and fire, wonders which she is. _Both_ , Cheryl realises with a start.

There's silence for a beat or two too long.

"It's really over." He mutters, haunted. In this moment, Cheryl thinks of Thornhill just as haunted and burned down to the ground. Archie's hair is still red but the flame is gone, there's no light, no boy-next-door, no anger to protect them.

Cheryl shakes her head. "It's never over."

Somehow, Cheryl ends up in Archie Andrews' bed. Feels like a phoenix, at the moment she's up in flames but soon they'll be a rebirth. They're both panting, Cheryl's head on Archie's chest. His hand running through locks of fire and destruction. Just like Thornhill. Like a metaphor Cheryl will never grasp or understand.

"We're going to be okay." He whispers, trying to convince them both.

Neither of them believe it. Soon they're sobbing in each other's arms. Cheryl doesn't want Archie Andrews but she wants to be alone even less. Archie's hands are shaking and Cheryl's mascara is running, they're broken but at least they're not alone. They have each other, just for tonight at least.

_Age 17_

Veronica Lodge walks over to Cheryl who's staring up at the sky. A shooting star passes. "Did you make a wish?" The raven-haired girl asks quietly. There's a tacky, red solo cup in Veronica's hand filled with bitter beer. She's holding it out, for Cheryl to take. For a second, Cheryl doesn't answer looking at the scene behind her.

Betty's laughing at one of Archie's dumb jokes. Jughead and Polly are debating Hemingway or some other dreary classic. Josie and Kevin joke around as they try to put up a tent (failing miserably) but mostly talking about the outfit Taylor Swift was rocking at some event.

It feels like puzzle pieces falling into place.

On the side opposite Veronica, Cheryl swears she feels an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Swears she smells Jason's sweet smell of peppermint. Cheryl can almost see him smiling, free, safe, _alive_. Jason at his finest, grandest moment.

"Why would I? Everything's perfect." Maple red lips turn into a smile as she says this.

 


End file.
